New Slate

Honestly, I'm spent. I'm ready to forgive and honestly, it could be the liquor talking, but who gives a shit. I'm old and I don't fucking care anymore. It's time for clarity. So, for you lay people, here's the shiznit!

This PARTICULAR blog will be my confessional blog ... probably my most honest (in terms of my PERSONAL self .... i'm QUITE honest with everything in general). I'm going to forward ALL my feelings about TV to my TVlicious blog, movies to my Moobie Snob blog, my music rants to my friend Monica's blog Kill The Mic (which is AWESOME btw), my insane and probably hilarious "rules/lists for life" blog to Saviaj Manifesto and my film shite to Saviaj.com and/or my latest film's facebook page for my latest film Crown Prince of Heaven. And that's the shiznit my people. As you all know I'M quite opinionated and that's the way it is. I have reconciled that with myself and get the fuck over it. I'm 30 and I'm not going to change. I LOVE that about being 30, that being an excuse because, honestly, I've been that way since ... birth and my niece is my fricking photocopy but WORSE so, it's probably (okay, i know it is) heriditary. But I'm constructive with my shit.

But I digress. Back on topic. Some folks I'm ACTIVELY trying to forgive and/or get over. My cousin who did a bunch a shit that I didn't understand. I'm done trying to understand and I'm on forgiving mode. I'm on get the fuck over it mode.

My ex-...who the fuck ever, who had a baby for reasons I cannot (WILL not) explain, took this information HARD for a variety of reasons. I'm done. Who cares.

To that chick who I was friends with for a couple of months, then flamed out and bad mouthed me to mutual friends without actually telling ME she had a problem ... Go fuck yourself. Hey, nobodies perfect. Least of all me. You should have just told me. I would have been like "okay, I can change this or that/I didn't mean this or that in the way you took it" or whatever. But now, I'm being passive aggressive, that's my way of being NICE because I actually VALUED our friendship and thought you would come to me with whatever problems you had, but you chicken shitted out ... hey, that's your way because you're young, whatevs. But you acted DIRTY and expected me to be nice ... and I know how NOT to be nice very well and that's not the tact you should have took. But you'll learn the hard way, but that's too bad because I'm very amiable to change and adjust to people that I like -- I'll adjust my behavoir to play less into their insecurities, but you'll never know because you're dead to me.

To the roommate that .... fuck you, I hope you burn in hell. LMAO, I'm serious. You know who you are. Unnecessary.

To the roommate that's really I nice person, but stinks and/or doesn't respect peoples stuff ... get that together and we could be MORE than fine, but grow the hell up.

To the person who .... is an idiot ... lol ... where is my filter??? Honestly, this could be a number of people, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I work hard, I go the extra mile and I like you as a person. Your bi-polarness .... less than desired.

Anywho, that's the way the cookie crumbles .... Check out my new site Saviaj Manifesto!!! Awesomeness personified! It's the rules you should live you life by, because I said so damnit!

I'm trying to turn over a new leaf ... it's soooo hard being the "bigger" person.

The Death of Love

What is it about the wiring of a man's brain that makes it so easy for them to get over you? What is it about women that causes them to linger? How is that fucking fair? What is it about the universe that when you've finally gotten over someone they know the precise moment to call and remind you that you used to love them. What kind of fucked up shit is that? What's wrong with not calling ever again, not checking up. What's wrong with that? What the fuck is wrong with leaving people the hell alone. Time does heal all wounds, but time heals slowly and it doesn't heal completely. There are still cracks in the armor. There are still fissures in the facade. And pain knows exactly where they are. Exactly. Who's got some spackle?

Death of a Friendship

Honestly, this has been a long time coming, but I've been too fucking busy to even address it. I'm very much a Type-A personality, an alpha female - a bitch, if you will - or at least I can be, if provoked. I've been content with that for quite some time. I'm very comfortable in my own skin. I get along with most people, but about 30%, I don't. And this can be for a variety of reasons. If I think you're an idiot, we're probably not going to be friends. If I don't respect you, if you're shady or flaky or insecure, perhaps we're not going to jive. It's not a big deal to me. I'm not going to lose sleep over it, but it seems the less attention I give to this fact, the more it irks the other person. I've almost perfected this into an art. And it's not even on purpose, but whatever. I take the high road, don't engage, don't entertain lunacy and I'm labeled the bad guy. They take the low road, stomp and throw tantrums, talk about me like a dog to all my friends, act a zip damn fool, call me at all times of night and they're the victim. Okay. Sure. I'll be that. My friends know who I am. They know what's up. They know what's not true and what is. I don't need to explain that to them.

And something that they ALL know is that I don't entertain crazy. If you've got a few screws loose, you behave irrationally, blow things out of proportion, I walk away. I don't call you. I don't harass you, I let that shit fade. We're obviously not going to work out. Not a big deal. What I don't entertain is long soliloquy emails about petty issues that you didn't have the balls to tell me when we were actually friends. I entertain all concerns from people who are friends to me. But you didn't feel the need to bring that shit up then. What became abundantly clear through that ridiculous letter is how deep seeded your insecurities lie. Half of that shit doesn't even make sense and isn't even true, but that's hardly the point.

When you don't want to be friends with someone, you stop calling them, you stop talking about them and you leave them alone. That's what I did to you. I wasn't bad mouthing you to this person or that. I wasn't going on a tirade of this person did this to me. That's ridiculous. Maybe in time you'll see that. And what you certainly don't do is poke someone and piss someone off and then ask to have your way. You are a lunatic.

Fuck off. Don't call me. Don't email me. Don't create new email addresses to email me from. I will filter them all to get deleted immediately. Don't query our mutual friends about me. Fuck the fuck off. You had a very fine opportunity to end things or clear the air amicably. I gave you 3 opportunities to do so and you shat on them. That's all on you. And now, you get what you get. Believe it or not, this is me being nice. You've met me, you know that in your heart to be true. If I was your age, responding to the antics that you have been performing, you would have fared infinitely worse. This is your last and final warning. Leave me the fuck alone.

2009: A Year in Review

I'm so late on all types of news. Where was I when Van Jones was being skewered for no reason? fucking Glen Beck. People haven't put a hit on that dude yet? And where is this 9/11 Truth Petition so I can sign it? If you buy that a plane's entire fuselage embeds itself into the ground when shit that falls from space doesn't do that ... I got some swamp land for you. Why did Plaxico get 2 years for shooting HIMSELF? That's fucked up. What's the name of his lawyer? So, I'll know not to hire him. Cheney shot someone in the face with a shotgun and got an apology ... from the victim ... maybe if Plaxico would have apologized to himself. Many DUI fuckers get probation. Fucking Chris Brown wife beating ass got proby, Plaxico can't get proby and catch some passes? Racist as NY Post depicting Obama as a stimulus monkey. Then denying it. Take credit for your shenanigans, Post. Don't piss on me and tell me its raining. Don't fuck a 14 yr old & tell me its not you in the video R.Kelly. I'm not an idiot. I've seen cribs. Michael Jackson died. Really who didn't die this year? Heath Ledger couldn't have held on a year and died with everybody else in 2009? Tiger Woods is a sex fiend. Brittney Murphy liked too much coke or binging and purging, too soon to tell. Taylor Lautner took off his shirt one too many times and 30+ year old women everywhere became perverts. T.I. got out of jail early for good behavior. Weezy prepped to go in for bad. All in all an eventful year. You have to take the good with the bad. We all came out on the other side not being worse for wear. Let's make 2010 a little bit better.

Hate On Hater

I haven't experienced a case of haterade so very strong since the early 90s. I don't have time for the bullshit. You don't like me. Fine. Keep it moving. I wasn't bothering you. I left your insecure punk ass alone. I just stumbled across this Glee version. I'm not sure which one I like more. They are both quite excellent.