Other Folks Men

Now, I tried to hold this in as long as I can, but I just can't.  What is it about a single woman with male friends that puts a girlfriend or a wife on edge.  I don't want your man.  I've known him since we were 13.  That would be like having sex with my cousin.  Gross!  If I had fucked him before, I would see why you would have pause, but I haven't.  So, what's the big deal.  Sure, we connect on a philosophical level that yall don't.  Sure, we don't have the baggage that sex and relationships (and in some cases infidelity and/or veneral diseases) bring to the table.  We don't have the hang ups and the obstacles to overcome.  So stop hating on me. Stop trying to hook me up with your wack ass cousin or some random dude I'm standing next to in the club JUST to make sure I'm not trying to make on you man.  I don't see him like that.  All me and him have is fun, laughs and debate ... oh, I see how you would be jealous of that.  Still not fucking him though, still not.

Nigga, Please!!!!

Okay, I'm not going to name names, but this has been happening to me lately.   Old dudes, that I used to have crushes on and maybe we're still friends today and all the sudden ... what type of dude you like and blah, blah, blah.  Oh, you describing me.  No, in the hell I'm not.  Do you hear the shit I talk about that's not you?  The ambition, the financial security, the lust for life, the road dogness, loves to travel, loves to drive, can take them anywhere, same sex/freak level, bring the passion out of you, good debater, wants kids, a committed relationship, a cohort, etc, etc.  I know you heard the shit on that list that does describe you.  Do you hear the shit that doesn't?  That's stuff is a deal breaker.  Get over yourself.  No body is daydreaming about reuniting with your punk ass.  

Welching Bitches!!!!!!!!!

Fuck it. I'm going to vent. My cousin is bat shit crazy. That's right, guano. See ,I wanted to go to this Lil Wayne concert that they added last minute and tickets were going on sale at a time that I would be in the middle of a road trip. So, I asked my cousin to buy the tickets for me. I gave her my credit card and she agreed. So, I said "I would ask you to go, but you don't like Lil Wayne." Her response and I QUOTE was, "Oh, I like Lil Wayne." I was like cool, get two tickets. How much do they cost? So, we're pricing it out. I'm like what tickets do you want to get, the $55 or the $95. She says, "Oh, it doesn't matter to me." That should have been my first clue right there that something wasn't right. So, to make a long story short. When I asked for her money for her ticket, she feigned ignorance and indignation. "I didn't say I wanted to go see Lil Wayne. I would never agree to go see Lil Wayne ... blah, blah, blah, I'm bat shit crazy, buy the tickets yourself next time." This was not even 24 hours later. I have (and many others who have told this story to with awe and hilarity) come to this conclusion. She was all rets to go when she thought I was paying for the tickets. Sure pay $200 you don't have to take me to see someone I don't even like. Is this chick for real? What are we dating? Fucking? What are we West Virginian extras in Deliverance? Why would I take her anywhere except out of desperation because everyone else on earth I would possibly want to go with has gone out and gotten themselves a fucking life? And why would I pay for the pleasure ... especially already knowing she doesn't like the artist? It would be different if she wasn't the biggest wet blanket since Hurricane Katrina. I'm trying my damnedest not to write folks off, but bitches make it hard.

The Real Alamo?

On Friday, I'm going to San Antonio, TX to visit my friend Winkler for his 30th birthday on a party/trip I kind of forced on him, but he gladly accepted.  Because when I celebrate my friend's 30th birthdays its like celebrating my own.  So, who-hoo!!!  I'm also going to see my best friend from college Abasi!   Abasi is my dude.  My road dog.  He's that dude that you can say, lets go to Spain on Friday and Abasi is already pulling out his passport asking what time the plane leave.  We are going to share a room and there will absolutely be no hanky panky going on because we are too good and too grown and too damn old to fuck up our friendship, but what I envision will be splendid.  See, we used to spend damn near 24/7 together in college (living in the same dorm on the same floor).  So, I'm trying to rekindle the 19 year old flame.  I'm talking Snoopy pajamas and Purple Rain.  I'm talking jumping up and down on the bed and cranking the music up loud.  I'm talking booze and jokes and silliness.   I'm talking a SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!

East Boogie

Here's a little send up to where I'm from (East St Louis, Il). You gotta represent. This list was started by Qwonny (1-23) that added to by Brad Reed (24-31) then by me (32-44).

"This is for the true E.Saint Louisans." Qwonthafia Cofield

You're know you're from East St. Louis if ................................................................

1. You eat a "st. paul" sandwich from the "rice house"

1a. If you call a chinese restaurant the "rice house"

2. You used to got the skating rink [Skate King]

3. You have been to an East side game and they were fighting players from Cahokia

4.You've had some chicken wings from the rice house.

5. You used to go to Club 64 before the Mono and Casino

6. You have caught the metro link from the JJK or Washington Park station to go to the St. Claim mall

7. You have bought shoes or clothes from Hoods Lot

8. You remember when Bill Clinton came and talked in front of Walgreens

9. You have been at McDonals late night, and you were in line for about an hour

10. You visited E. Saitn recently and said about time it is starting to look like something

11. You have caught the #1 State Street bus of the #4 Alta Sita bus

12. You are tired of the Rio getting burned down

13. You used to go to Lincoln Park every Sunday

14. You used to hang out at Schnuck's parking lot on the weekend

15. You used to go to Fair St. Louis on the landing on the Fourth

16. You have been to Six Flags with Ms. Hopkins from Clark

17. You remember when Yvette Young was Lansdowne Middle School

18. Somebody you knew have been killed because of jealousy and project conflict

19. Somebody you know has been in a Nelly or Chingy video

20. You think people from Washington Park are too hood.

21. You have witnessed many St. Louis Jimmies get whooped in the club

22. You know that E. Saint Louis is in Illinois and St. Louis is in Missouri

23. You have to keep defending your town because of haters

24. You knew the East Side vs Lincoln games were the social events of the year.

25. You knew that the prison used to Assumption High School

26. Your main source of news was the Monitor

27. If you got the hookup on your license from Art May

28. If you've ever had Nero's pizza

29. You've had to explain to someone what a snoot (from Sandy's BBQ) was

30. You knew damn well not to be in Belleville or Granite City [or Cahokia] after dark

31. You were a regular in the Pink Slip

32. You know to slow down on St. Clair before you go under the train tracks cause the po-po be waiting there with your speeding ticket.

33. You have friends/family in prison (not county)

34. You've ever personally seen a dead body on the street that wasn't on TV

35. You know someone that was murdered.

36. You know people who are way smarter than you that just didn't quite make it out of the hood

37. If you go to the Illusion for the shrimp

38. If you know what Red Fox is

39. If you grew up on Pertle's Ice Cream (best ice cream eva!)

40. If you still think Dunbar is the best elementary school eva!

41. If you're still a little sad that Lincoln isn't a highschool anymore because you would never be a fricking Flyer as long as you fricking live.

42. If everytime you go home, someone else you grew up with is dead.

43. If you remember when the levies broke.

44. If you know that Crab Rangoon has the cream cheese and wontons have meat (what is the rest of the nation smoking on this one)

45. You think Young's on 23rd St has the best chinese food on the planet.

46. You know who Boss Man is

47. If (even half asleep) you can hear gunshots and tell how far away the person who is shooting is.

48. If you don't think selling drugs a big deal

49. You think everyone that went to Crossroads is kind of snooty

50. You think there is absolutely nothing wrong with being from East St Louis