Now, I tried to hold this in as long as I can, but I just can't. What is it about a single woman with male friends that puts a girlfriend or a wife on edge. I don't want your man. I've known him since we were 13. That would be like having sex with my cousin. Gross! If I had fucked him before, I would see why you would have pause, but I haven't. So, what's the big deal. Sure, we connect on a philosophical level that yall don't. Sure, we don't have the baggage that sex and relationships (and in some cases infidelity and/or veneral diseases) bring to the table. We don't have the hang ups and the obstacles to overcome. So stop hating on me. Stop trying to hook me up with your wack ass cousin or some random dude I'm standing next to in the club JUST to make sure I'm not trying to make on you man. I don't see him like that. All me and him have is fun, laughs and debate ... oh, I see how you would be jealous of that. Still not fucking him though, still not.
Okay, I'm not going to name names, but this has been happening to me lately. Old dudes, that I used to have crushes on and maybe we're still friends today and all the sudden ... what type of dude you like and blah, blah, blah. Oh, you describing me. No, in the hell I'm not. Do you hear the shit I talk about that's not you? The ambition, the financial security, the lust for life, the road dogness, loves to travel, loves to drive, can take them anywhere, same sex/freak level, bring the passion out of you, good debater, wants kids, a committed relationship, a cohort, etc, etc. I know you heard the shit on that list that does describe you. Do you hear the shit that doesn't? That's stuff is a deal breaker. Get over yourself. No body is daydreaming about reuniting with your punk ass.
Fuck it. I'm going to vent. My cousin is bat shit crazy. That's right, guano. See ,I wanted to go to this Lil Wayne concert that they added last minute and tickets were going on sale at a time that I would be in the middle of a road trip. So, I asked my cousin to buy the tickets for me. I gave her my credit card and she agreed. So, I said "I would ask you to go, but you don't like Lil Wayne." Her response and I QUOTE was, "Oh, I like Lil Wayne." I was like cool, get two tickets. How much do they cost? So, we're pricing it out. I'm like what tickets do you want to get, the $55 or the $95. She says, "Oh, it doesn't matter to me." That should have been my first clue right there that something wasn't right. So, to make a long story short. When I asked for her money for her ticket, she feigned ignorance and indignation. "I didn't say I wanted to go see Lil Wayne. I would never agree to go see Lil Wayne ... blah, blah, blah, I'm bat shit crazy, buy the tickets yourself next time." This was not even 24 hours later. I have (and many others who have told this story to with awe and hilarity) come to this conclusion. She was all rets to go when she thought I was paying for the tickets. Sure pay $200 you don't have to take me to see someone I don't even like. Is this chick for real? What are we dating? Fucking? What are we West Virginian extras in Deliverance? Why would I take her anywhere except out of desperation because everyone else on earth I would possibly want to go with has gone out and gotten themselves a fucking life? And why would I pay for the pleasure ... especially already knowing she doesn't like the artist? It would be different if she wasn't the biggest wet blanket since Hurricane Katrina. I'm trying my damnedest not to write folks off, but bitches make it hard.
On Friday, I'm going to San Antonio, TX to visit my friend Winkler for his 30th birthday on a party/trip I kind of forced on him, but he gladly accepted. Because when I celebrate my friend's 30th birthdays its like celebrating my own. So, who-hoo!!! I'm also going to see my best friend from college Abasi! Abasi is my dude. My road dog. He's that dude that you can say, lets go to Spain on Friday and Abasi is already pulling out his passport asking what time the plane leave. We are going to share a room and there will absolutely be no hanky panky going on because we are too good and too grown and too damn old to fuck up our friendship, but what I envision will be splendid. See, we used to spend damn near 24/7 together in college (living in the same dorm on the same floor). So, I'm trying to rekindle the 19 year old flame. I'm talking Snoopy pajamas and Purple Rain. I'm talking jumping up and down on the bed and cranking the music up loud. I'm talking booze and jokes and silliness. I'm talking a SLUMBER PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!