2009: A Year in Review

I'm so late on all types of news. Where was I when Van Jones was being skewered for no reason? fucking Glen Beck. People haven't put a hit on that dude yet? And where is this 9/11 Truth Petition so I can sign it? If you buy that a plane's entire fuselage embeds itself into the ground when shit that falls from space doesn't do that ... I got some swamp land for you. Why did Plaxico get 2 years for shooting HIMSELF? That's fucked up. What's the name of his lawyer? So, I'll know not to hire him. Cheney shot someone in the face with a shotgun and got an apology ... from the victim ... maybe if Plaxico would have apologized to himself. Many DUI fuckers get probation. Fucking Chris Brown wife beating ass got proby, Plaxico can't get proby and catch some passes? Racist as NY Post depicting Obama as a stimulus monkey. Then denying it. Take credit for your shenanigans, Post. Don't piss on me and tell me its raining. Don't fuck a 14 yr old & tell me its not you in the video R.Kelly. I'm not an idiot. I've seen cribs. Michael Jackson died. Really who didn't die this year? Heath Ledger couldn't have held on a year and died with everybody else in 2009? Tiger Woods is a sex fiend. Brittney Murphy liked too much coke or binging and purging, too soon to tell. Taylor Lautner took off his shirt one too many times and 30+ year old women everywhere became perverts. T.I. got out of jail early for good behavior. Weezy prepped to go in for bad. All in all an eventful year. You have to take the good with the bad. We all came out on the other side not being worse for wear. Let's make 2010 a little bit better.