Gerry and I Take Over the World

10:19amCrystal
gerry gerry gerry
draw something for me

10:21amGerry
eh ok
what ya nean ya didnt know i was an artist by the way......
dya think i was an english teacher??

10:21amCrystal
i must have forgotten
um, nobody in korea was an english teacher

10:22amGerry
true we all ahd our own devices

10:23amCrystal
and vices
like sex and booze
where are you?

10:23amGerry
eh yeah.....
back in dublin

10:23amCrystal
for good?

10:23amGerry
for sex n booze... no livin in cork
(the arse end of ireland)

10:24amCrystal
the arse end?

10:24amGerry
but definitely not for good...
well down south
just studyin
n then ill head off again

10:25amCrystal
what's your next move

10:26amGerry
s america methinks

10:26amCrystal
reallY?
you liar
where?

10:27amGerry
im thinking of sao paulo.....
or bunos aires
and venezuala
chile
anywhere ive mates

10:28amCrystal
i'm your mate
move to america? north america. the united states of ....

10:28amGerry
ugh

10:28amCrystal
you don't speak spanish or portuguese you liar

10:28amGerry
its full of americans lol

10:28amCrystal
lol
true

[HILARIOUS RANT MISSING ON HOW BAD CANADA IS, its a conspiracy by the Canucks, this I am sure of]

***********Recovered by Gerry (It's in Dublin time though)

6:24pmGerry
i can speak dirty words in portuguese

6:24pmCrystal
but americans love anything UK

6:24pmGerry
thanks to my ensemble of brazilian boys
im IRISH
6:25pmCrystal
they're faithful to those who colonized them that way

6:25pmGerry
we hate everything uk

6:25pmCrystal
true

6:25pmGerry
were not so faithful to our colonisers

6:27pmCrystal
we only have aspirations of dominating our colonizers

6:30pmGerry
and those with resources

6:32pmCrystal
of course
exploitation in the name of personal profit, greed and world domination is what life is all about
gerry, its the AMERICAN WAY!!!!!!!!

6:33pmGerry
lol im goin to canada

6:33pmCrystal
fuck canada
how dare you say that they are the bastard stepchild of Great Britain
they might as well be france

6:34pmGerry
ah but theyre so lovely and syrupy sweet

6:35pmCrystal
no they're not
they're closet racists

6:36pmGerry
ah but their exterior conceals the truth

6:36pmCrystal
not very well

6:36pmGerry
like a teddy bear concealing crack

6:37pmCrystal
and they aren't great contributors to the global community
they're the dessert equivalent of tapioca pudding
unless you count the Canadian defectors who dream of hollywood fame then become American citizens ala Pamela Anderson, Keanu Reeves and Jim Carrey

6:39pmGerry
isnt that contribution enough??
6:39pmCrystal
more than enough

6:39pmGerry
lol

6:40pmCrystal
you like the dessention don't you

6:41pmGerry
always

6:41pmCrystal
man i can't spell today

6:41pmGerry
no worries i can pick up on your phonetics

[BACK TO LA TIME]

10:46amCrystal
o Gerry, when are you going to become a born again Christian
turn straight
make passionate love to me
and my big gash as you so rudely put it
so when can have black irish babies
10:47amGerry
have you still got it sewn up??
10:47amCrystal
that you will teach phonetics
i'll sew it up for you baby
what do you say
they would be the most deliciously evil children in the world if you and I were the parents
we could start our own army
10:49amGerry
and take over canada...
and colonise all colonisers
10:49amCrystal
hells yeah!!!!!!!

10:49amGerry
sounds like a plan lets commence propogation
ill send ya some samples and a rubber glove i aint goin anywhere need your womanly wound

10:50amCrystal
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
artificials fine with me
we can have more children faster
and it won't interrupt with my sex life
penciling you into my busy social schedule

10:52amGerry
yeah we can find some cheap asians to carry the brood

10:52amCrystal
oooooo
that's a thought
surrogacy, i like where your mind is at
and we can get mexicans and russians to raise them

10:53amGerry
ooh good thinking........

10:53amCrystal
they'll be tri-lingual

10:53amGerry
theyll develop my penchant for tequila and vodka
mixed

10:54amCrystal
we could throw in a french au pair
that's a steele stomach

10:54amGerry
yeah thatll help them to integrate into canadian society

10:55amCrystal
tequlia and vodka mixed together, add rum, triple sec, sweet and sour and a little coke, you have an iced tea

10:55amGerry
and then over throw it

10:55amCrystal
yeah, a little par le vous
will throw off the Canucks, and then bam!
What prime minister? Bow down to Obama! Canada, You are now the 53rd state
right after Puerto Rico and Guam

10:57amGerry
ooh yeah and argentina.... where all the hot men are at

10:57amCrystal
Argentina is next!!!
how dare they be the only country on the planet to eat more beef than us

10:57amGerry
and then brazil....

10:57amCrystal
we can't have that
we have to be number 1 in everything
this includes beef eating!!!!

10:57amGerry
although ive conquered al lot of em already
what about salsa???

10:58amCrystal
Argentina will fall, we will not cry for you Evita!!!!!
salsa?
the dance or the dip?

10:58amGerry
both: mexico and brazil it is so

10:59amCrystal
i say we annex mexico like las vegas
let all the debauchery happen there
what happens in mexico stays in mexico
we just improve their clean water sources
enough with the diarrhea already
it's 2008[ it is in fact, 23 days into 2009], time to step it up
there will be no digestive parasites in my empire

11:00amGerry
probably have to stop the tequila binges too then

11:01amCrystal
why?
why stop the binges/

11:01amGerry
for your diarrhea probloems

11:02amCrystal
that's you
tequila only gives me headaches

11:02amGerry
lol
maybe ill stop mixin it with vodka

11:04amCrystal
yeah
add some mixer